You typically don't get it. Or you get it and it's not as wonderful or perfect as it seemed on paper. I think when you want something too much, that thing realizes it, sees how desperate you are, is turned off, and goes with someone who is much more indifferent. And this is called rejection. Which is what I experienced this morning.
Let's all say it together shall we. On three. One, two, three
"I didn't get the job."
Yes, so this is me, handling rejection. Whether I'm handling it "well", I don't know, I guess that's subjective. I mean, I made myself get dressed, put on makeup, go to school and then later I'm going to work...when all I really wanted to do is stay home in my jams with Otto and Bogie and watch T.V. all day. I know some of you may think I'm overreacting. And I'm sure I am. I mean, everyone gets rejected from a job. I think this is just my "welcome to the real world and the job application process" rotten fruit-basket gift. But man, I really wanted this job. It was perfect on paper, but apparently, not meant for me. I'm going to be honest here, I had a feeling. The company I was applying for an interview with had only 7 interview slots available and I found out that 12 people applied. When I heard that, I just kind of knew I wouldn't be getting an interview. I really don't blame them. They had to cut down the applicants to 7 and the only real way to do this was apparently, by grades. Especially because they wanted you to be in a certain percentile of your class. I had the real-world experience, I just didn't have the grades. So is life.
I love having my boyfriend in law school with me. He keeps me sane and I honestly don't think I could have made it through taking the LSAT, applying, and the first two years without him and his love and support. That being said, there are some hard things about being in law school and going in to the same profession together. Zach got really good news from the job he applied to. And I am so proud of him. Good news for him is good news for us as a couple and I am so excited and happy that all of his hard work is paying off. But this happens a lot in our relationship I feel like. One of us gets good news and the other doesn't, so it sort of ruins the moment. I'm not trying to be a party-pooper here, but the "bad news" end falls on me more often than not. And so when he tells me his good news and I come back and bust his balloon with my bad news, it's just hard...and I think that's more what is upsetting me instead of the thought I didn't getting an interview. That I can't come back with good news too and we can both celebrate instead of me putting a damper on Zach's news and him having to be supportive of me, instead of us just both being excited. Anyways, Zach has never been anything but loving and supportive and always says the right things to make me feel better. And when I'm upset he realizes it's not me being upset with him or less proud or excited of him, and for that I'm glad and extremely grateful, because I would hate for him to think that my tears or frustration is with his success, and not solely with my failure. It's a weird feeling to be so happy and so mad at the same time. I know I couldn't do this without him and as I've said and I'll say it again, Zach is so wonderful, supportive, and loving. And for that I am so lucky and blessed and glad that he's mine <3
So, anyways, the job search continues. Thank you for all of your love and support and words of kindness. I feel like we're all in the job search thing together so good luck to all of you searching for a job, because it sucks. And for those of you who have jobs or have found jobs or have interviews for jobs, I am honestly so proud of you all. And remember, if someone doesn't want to hire you, it's their loss. And they're lame.
At least that's what I keep telling myself :)